vocaroo:

in the future if my kids tell me that they are gay i’ll just be like “what” because i don’t plan on having any kids so how the hell did they get there

krocatoo:

Having to google internet slang your friend is using because you have no idea what the fuck it means.

image

deathpup:

shrexything:

babyferaligator:

oomshi:

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

misterhayden:

Mister Hayden [tumblr | twitter | gumroad | website]

misterhayden:

Mister Hayden [tumblr | twitter | gumroad | website]

alinatotheleft:

flexblr:

youknowimgood4it:

Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough

Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.

"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."

alinatotheleft:

flexblr:

youknowimgood4it:

Taken from reddit but it can’t be stressed enough

Making fun of fat people at the gym is like making fun of sick people at the hospital.

"Lol wow you’re doing chemotherapy? Clearly you suck at it if you still have cancer."

averagefairy:

moms are so temperamental you say one thing like “have you seen my hoodie” and theyre like your HOODIE??? YOUR HOODIE???? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY THINGS I HAVE TO DO EVERY DAY AND YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO KEEP TRACK OF YOUR HOODIE? NOBODY HELPS ME IN THIS HOUSE I DO EVERYTHING BY MYSELF AND NOBODY ASKS HOW I AM YOUR FATHER IS AN ALCOHOLIC 

Priorities.

Priorities.

How I would narrate the Olympics
  • me:

    he's doing some athletic shit

  • me:

    and omg look at that butt

xan-dur:

davidesky2:

from Skullis.

These are amazing. I want them.

modernjackoverland:

berksome:

berksome:

reunited at last

are you serious i put on a banana suit and walked around Target for an hour for this

instead of reblogging pictures of OTPs and half naked women, have a heart and show some respect towards this mother being reunited with her children

modernjackoverland:

berksome:

berksome:

reunited at last

are you serious i put on a banana suit and walked around Target for an hour for this

instead of reblogging pictures of OTPs and half naked women, have a heart and show some respect towards this mother being reunited with her children

hipster-trichster:

copsandrobert:

thomas-world:

pierce-alexandria-with-sirens:

that-stupid-tardis-sound:

words i use in every sentence:

  • no
  • stop
  • dude
  • literally
  • like
  • seriously
  • fuck

That’s a sentence right there

Forwards and backwards

You can rearrange them in any order and it’ll be a sentence

ladies and gentlemen the extensive vocabulary of tumblr

jaclcfrost:

me in most situations

jaclcfrost:

me in most situations

hoohah:

i didn’t think they’d actually use the quote but they did

hoohah:

i didn’t think they’d actually use the quote but they did

ang3lita:

hohdenge-of-nudistobeach:

this is important to me

oh my goD

ang3lita:

hohdenge-of-nudistobeach:

this is important to me

oh my goD